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“I’m going to scrub this nasty toilet so clean, you’ll be able to eat off it!” I thought to myself, before attacking the public bathroom with the feverish intensity of Pollock dripping a painting. From the outset of landing my job as a sign-spinner, I knew I had an opportunity on my hands and I …

“You’re, uh, okay with wearing a costume, right?” “Yep,” I replied, with zero hesitation…although I took a moment to inwardly ponder what my life had come to… I was at a job interview, which consisted only of my future manager confirming I had a car, was able to work fulltime, could start that Sunday…and that …