“You should be proud, man,” my friend said.
“… yeah… I know… I just… yeah, I just need the perspective.”
I was glad he texted me Thursday night, asking about the publicity I’d been getting. He reminded me that there’s more than one perspective on this whole thing. And I don’t mean a positive mindset – although that’s important – but an actual, nitty-gritty perspective on measured results.
It’s an extremely important lesson in business. Here’s an example:
Imagine you’re at a backyard BBQ about a year ago, talking about Trump before he became President Trump
You’re standing in a group of 10 people. A few begin foaming at the mouth and shouting about what a pig he is, how stupid he is, and how everyone hates him.
Others nod in agreement, and then pile on.
“He should just stop.”
You’d probably walk away from this exchange, thinking Trump didn’t have a chance. I mean, it’s obvious, right? Nobody was going to vote for him.
… except they did. So what gives?
Here’s what happened at the 10-person gathering, that you didn’t notice:
A couple folks standing there, didn’t say a word. Maybe they remained stone-faced. Or they nodded just to be agreeable. So you didn’t include them in your mental tally of Trump supporters. But that’s exactly what they were.
That’s not all. A couple folks who shouted how much they hated Trump, were covering themselves.
Why would people do this?
Because oftentimes behavior trends have nothing to do with visible trends on social media. Especially if that behavior can be done in private. Like voting.
Look at it from a practical perspective
Why on earth would someone who is going to vote for Trump, put up with rage, insults, and potential violence? It’s smarter to stay quiet and do your thing anonymously.
A similar dynamic occurs in business online. When a business puts an ad online, you can sometimes publicly see denouncements and insults.
You don’t see the people busting out their credit cards and buying the product. Even if they’re doing it in droves.
In the same way, you could visibly see the hateful messages about me – and they were definitely backed up by ones sent to me.
But you didn’t see positive words of encouragement publicly – not many.
Because those were all sent privately, straight to me
It gives a skewed perspective unless you’re able to see everything.
Same with dating. There’s no way in hell any woman who’s interested, is going to bother telling a bunch of spiteful people online. Why put up with that?
(And for anyone reacting to a comparison between President Trump, online businesses, and me – it’s just a teaching metaphor – take it or leave it.)
This has massive implications for business and politics. Anyone catering to the internet and social media for public popularity is misguided at best. A better goal is private popularity among people who count.
That’s the difference between fostering activity and productivity. Which would you rather have?
I’ll go into more detail on this on my private list, which you can still get on at www.shouldyoudatenate.com
To be clear, sometimes the two do overlap, and you want to be publicly and privately popular. But if you’re in business selling a niche product and the vast majority of the population is not a fitting customer for you… you’d be surprised how useless popular opinion can be.